A Path to Thriving Connections
by P. David Stockhausen
The Relationship Process empowers individuals, couples, and communities to create relationships that are resilient, non-violent, and deeply fulfilling.
Using five transformative nodes— Regulate, Request, Resource, Restructure, and Reconnect, this process equips you with the tools to reconnect with yourself, others, and the world.
Each node in the process act as a guidepost, helping you navigate the complexities of relationships with clarity and intention. The nodes instruct us to keep us growing and developing in ways that ultimately reconnect us with ourselves, one another, and the collective of humanity.
1. Regulate
Cultivating Calm and Presence
A calm, regulated nervous system is the cornerstone of successful relationships. When we are regulated, we can connect, create, and care with ease. But this state often requires practice to achieve.
In this foundational step, you will:
Learn to intervene in trigger sequences and shift defensive patterns (fight, flee, freeze, or fawn).
Develop Wise Adult Consciousness, a state of equanimity that fosters balanced decision-making and connection.
Practice co-regulation, attuning your nervous system with others for deeper empathy and trust.
2.Requests
Establishing Boundaries with Confidence
Healthy relationships thrive on clear, respectful boundaries. Requests are proactive boundaries that empower mutual understanding and shared power. Many of us need structure to give and receive requests effectively while staying within our emotional capacity.
Through this step, you will:
Master the art of making and responding to requests with clarity and confidence.
Establish shared standards for communication and cooperative negotiation.
Strengthen safety and trust by fostering mutual respect for individual needs.
3. Resource
Sharing Abundance and Power
Relationships are built on the resources we share—time, care, safety, and more. Yet societal norms often promote scarcity and competition, creating unnecessary tension.
This step helps you:
Identify and align individual and shared needs by mapping resources.
Build empathy through open discussions about resource distribution.
Develop a shared vision for equitable, abundant relationships that challenge scarcity mindsets.
4. Restructure
Adapting to Change Together
Change is inevitable, and successful relationships learn to adapt. Whether it’s navigating life transitions or redefining agreements, restructuring creates space for growth.
In this step, you will:
Learn to navigate major shifts like marriage, separation, or evolving roles with grace.
Update habits, norms, and agreements to reflect current needs.
Embrace flexibility and trust as tools to build resilience and mutual empowerment.
5. Reconnect
Finding Wholeness in Connection
Reconnection is the culmination of The Relationship Process. By mastering regulation, requests, resources, and restructuring you’ll expand your capacity for deep, meaningful connections with self, others, and the larger world.
This step empowers you to:
Embrace intimacy as a practice of ongoing connection.
Normalize rupture and repair cycles as essential to growth.
Cultivate connection on every level—personal, social, natural, and spiritual.
When we reconnect with ourselves, our purpose, and each other, we create relationships that are not only resilient but transformative.
Reconnection is the ultimate goal of the Relationship Process.
Learn how to reconnect
Work with P. David Stockhausen and The Relationship Process