Since the November 5th election…

I’ve been silent on all the feeds since the election.

I’ve made a choice to take my time and feel into how I want to participate in the online conversations here.

Over the course of my life, recovering from CPTSD, It’s been too easy for me to turn toward what hurts, what’s scary, and what’s challenging in life. It is the human animal in me, like all of us, that carries a negativity bias, to scan for danger, to be vigilant for the sniff of fate. I know I am not alone in that.

For a long while that very bias helped me create a life that was more and more protective and guarded. If I am not actively set to stay open and loving and heart-centered, I will naturally default to old protective patterns.

My adult self knows that staying heart-centered is actually the best form of protection I could arrange, and I also know it’s a daily practice. I am grateful to say that the more I remain heart-centered the stronger my life has reflected the love I put into it. My resolve is now more emboldened since November 5th.

I’ve spent this past handful of years deepening my study and practice of trauma recovery and grief tending both personally and professionally. These tools have helped me manage the cycle of sinking into old protective strategies.

These tools have helped me learn the recipes of collective liberation and individual healing which I spread through my community daily. And still it’s so easy to focus on what’s wrong, what’s scary, what hurts, what fresh doom is upon us. And, this election cycle hasn’t helped at all.

I know the good reasons to hold fear right now. There’s much to fear. And my stance as of this writing is a commitment to still holding strong to the vision, even if it’s one I only ever see in my mind’s eye. For, if we lose sight of that, then we’ve already lost.

I envision a world where human, animal, and living systems of nature find freedom intertwined and integrated. I dream of a place where egalitarian relationships flourish, and we live in humble relationship to nature’s supreme power. I envision communities that realize more of their needs are relational than material, and actively support cultures that practice those ways so they can proliferate the planet.

I believe in a living world and I refuse to stop dreaming of that.

I want to encourage you to dream with me. To practice our freedoms and celebrate the ones available to us. To learn the social and spiritual technology that brings us together across divisions, instead of reinforcing them.

I will be practicing song, peaceful gatherings, skill sharing, learning, listening, speaking, truth telling, art making, song singing, and loving to the best of my body’s ability to do so. I vow to ask for help if I am consumed by fear.

I vow to move from the focus on pain to power, from worry to wisdom, from fear to freedom. I will use my voice to speak up. I will continue to celebrate life and ask you to join me. This is how I will use my privileges and powers as long as I still have them.

May they serve as sanctuary for anyone who needs them.

This is my prayer.